Coming to terms

Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. – Oscar Wilde

This was the Random quote of the day on my blog and while I didn't intend on writing on the topic I was so struck by this quote and a few other events of the day that this blog happened as a result.
I have to reactions to Wilde's statement. The first is simple. I love my parents. I only hope that the understand the depth of love I have for them, how honored I am to be there son. I feel like I fail to comunicate the depth of respect I have for them and the sacrafices they made to give me the upbringing I had. I think that I can never express my thankfulness to them to make the hard decisions I couldn't and doing with out so my immaturity and appetites could be appeased. I am beginning to understand that not only is this what love is about but also the struggle of being some ones child/parent. On one hand as a parent there is no end to sacrifice and no true way to be thanked. On the other there is no way that I as a son can every really give back or even begin to thank my parents for what they have done. My only hope is that by carrying on the cycle my parents might understand how much they mean to me and how proud I am to be their child.
The second thought is along the same vein but relates to how we view God. Justin McRobets (a long time favorite) has long challenged my through his writing to set in the tension between a sovereign good God and the evil that is rampant on the earth. (Check out his blog. The link is on the right! Just right click and open in a new tab.) That and for some reason Ellie Wiesel's writings came to mind. His story is a great and remarkable one but for this instance its his journey of faith that is the most pertinent. He begins life as a good Jewish boy devoting his life to the Torah and then the "night" happens and it is a long journey from despair and judgement. His memoirs are a great read.
I've learned that first stage of reconciling the "problem of evil" is that God no more needs my forgiveness then he does my permission. Because forgiveness implies that I am owed some reconciliation that I have some authority to judge. This brings me back to sitting in the tension of a good God and a broken world, sitting with a frustrated, angry and broken heart.
If I ever get past the first step I'll let you know.

9/13/11

One of the reasons I find myself not writing as much as I used to, as I'd like to, is that I try to be witty. Well at least what I think is witty which usually passes of as one of those half silent one sound chuckles. I'm not even sure how to write that sound to fully explain to all you readers what it sounds like in my head. So...I'll just assume you understand.
That is basically my way of saying what I'm about to give you is raw thought. I've had thoughts running around my head for awhile and the never made it to paper because I couldn't take the time to make them witty and fun. My writing in general has suffered from this read: no new poetry :( This is the reason there isn't some catchy title at the top of my entry. I wanted to finally get this stuff out.
I recently lead a small missions team over to the Czech. As I prepared and planned to lead this team I took stock of all my past trips. I thought about my first time over and how awesome it was to see what God was doing there. I remember how excited all of us where. Many of us from the trip wanted to continue partnering with JV, few of us have. Which isn't a bad thing because being a missionary to an Atheist country isn't for every one and lets been honesty as Christians we should get excited to see what God is doing and want to be a part of it. I remember that first summer, only two of us from that spring trip went back. And to my knowledge Josh and I were some of the first Moody Students to pursue internships with JV because of the spring break trips. Yet I have seen God use those trips to form a strong bond between Moody and Josiah Venture. While it may be unspoken it is encouraging to see my friends from my trip and the following spring breaks partnering with God and his work in Josiah Venture.
During my time in '08 JV was starting this thing called the 2x3 campaign. The purpose of this was to double the fruit of the ministry in 3 years. I was planning on moving to Czech and being a big part of this God had other plans for me. My involvement with JV became less and my plans changed.
Then towards the end of the campaign God brought me back to this place. In his good timing he brought me and my wife to lead a new team of 3 people who had never even heard of Josiah Venture till We asked them to join the trip. We were supported by two churches who were discovering what God is doing in the Czech for the first time. One of which had never sent a missions team until our trip! That's 4 new people, 2 new churches and all to work with 1 new Czech church. Not bad for a 2x3 Campaign drop out.
It was a blessing to share my passion not only with my wife but our team and see them develop a similar passion for the God's work. I loved getting to introduce two Churches to the need of the Czech Republic in hope that those relationships become something deep and lasting.
Most importantly I loved sharing the part of my life with my wife and turning the one missionary in training spot into two. Please partner with us on our journey.

its on again

Next Generation from Josiah Venture on Vimeo.

My wife and I are going!

call me...Husband-man

I love super heroes. I find no same in that. I'm a sucker for a comic based movie although the usually stink and for Christmas most of my list was filled with ideas about Batman or Spider-man (yes the hyphen is the proper spelling). I love the idea. I've often dreamed about running around saving people with some emblem emblazoned on my chest and a cape draped across my shoulder. I think the one thing that always attracted me to the masked men of comic lore was the idea of protecting the weak. I just finished reading Kingdom Come, highly recommended, it begins in a world where the heroes have stopped protecting and started doing what ever they wanted. It really illustrated how important it is for the heart of a hero to choose to protect, to choose life. It also showed the destruction that can happen when those with responsibility forget to do what is right.
Its not that I'm a super hero but I am married. Although I don't have a large city to protect or a galaxy to defend I have a wife. I feel that in some ways the long standing desire I have to be a caped crusader is fulfilled in my marriage. I need to protect my wife, its my duty as her husband so it is all the more heart breaking when I choose to act in a selfish manner. Not only do I not protect her I'm the one that actually hurts her. I go from super hero to evil villain, although I enjoy a well written amoral hero, thats not cool. I hate hurting her.
So to my wife I'm sorry. I'll try harder to be the superhero you deserve

My grown-up Christmas list

Over the last few years I've been struggling with Christmas. I've been captured by the idea that Christmas needs to be more about proclaiming the Kingdom of Heaven and celebrating the Messiah, the Deliver, the King and less about packages with ribbons and bows. The last few years as this conviction as been examined and etched out in my soul I never really had to confront it because... well I didn't have much and always seemed to be in-transit. This year was different, is different. I'm working a steady job that pays well and although Melissa and I aren't loaded we aren't scrapping the bottom of the jar for peanut butter. Plus I have some roots I have a place that is home and a community in which I plan to be a part of for awhile. So this is the year when I stop thinking about these things and do something about. I'm planning a Christmas party for the youth group with this in mind so that as we celebrate we also act.
I wish I was a goo din my own life. The other day my wife asked me for a list of ideas for her family which I was able to come up with. Yet now as I think about the list I realized that I forgot this idea. So I'm taking the chance to update my list. For those of you whom this is a little to late. I'm sorry I didn't get this sooner and thank you for the present I know that it will bring a smile to my face and joy in my life but for those that are still searching here are things that will grip my heart. Give a gift in my name send a donation to these places.

Josiah Venture
http://www.josiahventure.com/

4 Kids of South Florida:
http://www.4kidsofsfl.org/events_and_activities/Gift-of-Hope.cfm

For what I really want is the gospel to be proclaimed and the hopeless to find hope.

Does the salt go over the right or left?

Recently I was examining my life and faith...which tends to happen at least ever couple months it seems this past year and a half. As I faced yet another big decision and life change I noticed something in my thinking. I looked as saw how easy it was for me to lean upon my faith like a superstition.
All my actions toward God became this scripted event that I had relieved many times before. My admission of short coming and dealing with guilt of sin. Followed by my panic stricken pleading for some wisdom and guidance as if I God would speak in some supernatural way if only I could convey to him my great need. Then I wait. I wait for some sign a song on the radio, my Bible to open to some special verse, a stranger on the street or some mystical feeling of peace and fulfillment. Its funny how when I am longing for a sign I forget that God gave me intelligence and a free will. I become so involved in not missing the supernatural sign I'm waiting for that I begin to make everything into the sign I'm looking for and I begin to interpret these signs into saying what I want them to say.
That isn't how it works is it though, God doesn't open the heavens and write on the wall. I'm pretty sure if he did I'd be more freaked to see a hand writing on the wall then to catch the message. No Instead God created us in his image. He gave us the ability to make decisions and a free will to enact them. He tells us to trust in him and his sovereignty. He constantly is reminding his people that He is not a God that is constrained by people groups, state lines and legal jurisdiction. He promises to be with us then tells us to move.
This time I made me decision I didn't barter with God. I didn't lay out a fleece. I simply trusted. I trusted that he wouldn't allow the wrong decision to be made. I trusted that he would be with us. I trusted that he wanted what was best for Melissa and myself. I trust that dealing with the consequences will help shape us into better reflections of Christ.
To be honest there is no peace in the solution. My gut it still in knots, my brain still mulling over pros and cons. My superstitious nature still wants to test and challenge and barter. Instead I choose trust knowing more deeply the God I love.

Fun with Morality

I always find public opinion polls interesting. I like to see where we as a society stand on moral issues. Its also a secret for me to indulge that guilty side that delights in being judgmental. I can sit here and judge Joe Shmoe for being too narrow minded or for not being moral enough. Its the man inside me who sits curling his handle bar mustache while laughing diabolically. mmmuHahaha excellent, excellent. (That is my laugh I hope when you read this you insert the appropriate sound image there. Also the excellent are where the mustache is curled.)

I find there are a few things of note for starters look at the categories relating to death.

• Look at the exact split on Assisted Suicide. How crazy is that.
• Also with all the clamor made about abortion its only viewed favorable by around 1/3 of the people.
• I want to say something about the 77% of people who find suicide morally wrong but the only thing I can think is how much that speaks of the desperation that is suicide.

Look at the issue of cloning. I think its strange that we live in a world were cloning is considered a moral conundrum. I how cool is it that we deal with a problem that has been regulated to Science Fiction most of its life.

• Only 9% percent of people are for cloning humans...I guess those 9% are the remnants of the Galactic Empire...Star Wars...any body, any body? Fine moving on.
• Why is it that I think 2/3 of people are against cloning animals because they are afraid to eat them. Remember how big it was when Dolly the Lamb was cloned?
• Then there is the growing issue of embryo stem cell research. (Notice the pun, I thought it was really good) only 32% of people think it is wrong. Interesting isn't especially when you look at it with the number on abortion. It feels like the public opinion is opposite from what we are lead to believe.

No lets look at sex.

• More people find sex between unmarried people more acceptable than having a baby outside of marriage. Sure its only 5 points but does any one else find that odd.
• 40 percent of Americans believe you should be married to have a kid yet Hollywood is encouraging the idea that a woman doesn't need a man. ie The Switch and The Back-up Plan plus the real life example of Angelina Jolie Then again Hollywood always pushed the limits
• People will want to point to the numbers for Homosexual relationships and talk about how they are more acceptable. Yet I find the almost universal view that adultery is wrong to be more shocking, not that the belief is shocking but that 92% of Americans hold it.
• Looking at the acceptability of divorce 69% one would question the importance of marriage in our society yet with all the other stats pertaining to marriage and sex one would be foolish to dismiss it. I think this really just goes to show you that divorce is messy thing.

I think that is enough oh my opinions for now. Let me know your thoughts and observations please, the comments sections would be a good place to start doing that. Remember whenever we talk right and wrong it is best done in community.