the haze of inactivity

I've been meaning to write. No, really I have. Everyday I come here looking for a new post only to see that the guy who is supposed to be posting here isn't doing his job. What a jerk! oh wait...this is my blog...dang it. That explains so much. Well I best get writing. Now where to start....if I could only organize the storm of thoughts in my head. That's what happens to me. That's why I haven't written in so long. There isn't a lot going on. There are definitely things of note I'd be happy to share but all my good thoughts seem to be covered with this haze. I can see them I know where they are and that they're there but I can't focus in on them. I think when you are inactive its the discipline in the simple things that you miss the most.

So its offical

This morning I received a phone call from Europe, more specifically Cesky Tesin, Czech Republic. The phone call was of absolute incoherent quality, I understood just a few sentences. What I did understand was that after a little deliberation and a apparently an arm wrestling match I have been officially accepted as a missionary with Josiah Venture. Now I begin the long process of raising support and all the other joys that comes with that. Now if I only knew where to begin...

Rejoice with Humanity

This past week I've had the pleasure of working at the radio-thon for Driscoll Children's Hospital. It was a great experience.
At times it was hard to hear stories and to meet the kids who lives have been impacted by children. 5 yr olds with Leukemia and babies rushed into the operating room and into ICU within minutes of birth, children who will never walk...run...play outside...hear their Mother's say I love you these things made me question every single thing I know about goodness and truth and love. The idea of innocents and God.

The answers where dark...hopeless...depressing...destroying...

but then there was light...there is always light. That seems to be how He works. Against the back drop of death and sickness and suffering there is joy, happiness, redemption. There is cancer remission and eradication. Children who statistically should never have normal function... walking, talking, writing and drawing. There was this boy, the first thing he heard was his Mother...she said I love you. He asked if that was music...we was a teenager.

Then what probably is the coolest thing happened. People cared. People gave. People who had nothing to with these children gave their money, their time, their love. They were moved. They didn't just feel compassion. They weren't just touched...they acted.It was amazing. It made me proud to be part of this race. I'm beginning to understand what it means to be Human, to be a Christian, to be an Image Bearer...it means to care, to move, to act.

http://www.driscollchildrens.org/Default.htm

I'm a nerd.

As I was surfing the net I found this article. It got me thinking, wait I totally fit into this category...Why am I still single? I think more ladies should listen to this one.
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/66795671.html

another milestone of ignorance

I have long asked myself How do you deal with Death? As someone who is trained for ministry and looking at becoming a pastor this has been a subject I've thought about a lot but I've never really had to face it. I've had people who I've known die but never some one close to me. Never someone like this. I know that in the death of Christ the sting of death is removed but that doesn't solve the pain that comes with death. Especially when it comes to those that aren't submitted to the Death of Christ. What do you say as you race down the road knowing that death awaits the destination. What do you say when the only sounds you hear are those accompanied by tears. How do you speak Christ into that situation when you can't speak yourself. And how do you comfort those when you aren't certain that the relief of Heaven awaits.
My Grandfather died today. I have the great honor of doing the service...little did I know that my first funeral would be my grandfather's...and that I'd be 24.

Spontanous Thought

Ignorant men don't know what good they hold in their hands until they've flung it away. – Sophocles (496 BC-406 BC)
This is my random quote of the day from my quote of the day application. I really like it. There have been many good quotes to come along from this little app; but this is by far my favorite so far. I like it because it rings very true in my life. I'm trying not to be the ignorant man throwing away the good things. As I continue to make big life decisions and make choices where one thing is picked over another...like life in the states versus life in the Czech Republic I don't want to throw away good things by making poor hasty decisions. I don't want to fling away good relationships because of I'm not patent enough or trusting enough to pursue them. I don't want to give up good for convenience.
It doesn't just echo inside of me in terms of being the ignorant one but also in the one who picks up the discarded good. For those that now my romantic interest you can see how being the man who picks up the good can be important. Unfortunately when the good an ignorant guy has discard is a girl there tends to be a lot of hurt in her heart. I'm struggling with this. I'm struggling with allowing her space and time to heal, with how it is that our lives are going line up over the next few years and I'm struggling with feeling like I'd have to choose her over being a missionary. And I know that if she read this she'd be angry that I feel this way.

Look up?

During my whole time in the Czech Republic I had this struggle with God over hearing his voice about my future there. So during my last week I decided to go to a café and with my journal and reread all the things I had written since the first summer I went to the Czech Republic hoping that it would spark some communication. So I settled into my corner booth with my hot chocolate and journal and waited. The picture isn’t the exact thing I saw but it gives you some idea of the setting. I’ve written the things I heard as a script. (You may want to act this out. If so I suggest you find a good looking young man to play the part of Jerry to make the situation as close to real life as possible.)

Jerry: Dear God please speak to me.
(After some time of reading his Journal at a café Jerry hears this)
God: Look up.
Jerry: What?
God: Look up.
Jerry: What, God I don’t get it.
God: L-O-O-K U-P.
Jerry: Look up, why.
God: Jerry! Just LOOK UP!
Jerry: Ok, ok. (looks up from his journal)
God: What do you see?
Jerry: Czech people…?
God: What do I see?
Jerry: People how are dying…
God: What else?
Jerry: People who need love…
God: Exactly now what are you going to do about it?
Jerry: Love them…Die with them…
God: Good boy. What don’t you see?
Jerry: Me…?
God: Exactly! Stop looking at yourself; your needs, your problems, your struggles. Look at these people, love these people!