Monday, September 18, 2006

good and bad

I just finished watching a movie titled the United States of Leland. I highly recommend it. It has this great theme running through it about how the bad makes the good better. This quote explains it.
Its all part of the trade off man. I mean, Love is only such a great thing
because you know what it feels like to get your heart broken. What it feels
like to be alone.
I think that there is deep truth in that. For instance the times I've studied Godless religions or cultures it has made me all the more appreciative of the relationship I have with him. Or the time I have with my friends after a long absence always seems better than the times when I'm always with them. It like how reading, or trying to, in the dark makes you all the more appreciative of reading in the light. This has a funny dynamic when it comes to people that don't know God. Being with them makes me all the more awed by God but my heart also breaks because the don't know how much life with him is.

I guess all this is to say that bad things happen so that our weak minds can more fully comprehend and enjoy the good.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

My heart breaking realization

As I was walking to and from class today I had a startling realization. I'm weak. Not I can't lift a frozen turkey weak but My heart is weak. It forget things. I'm talking about my keys, or meal ticket or even my parents birthdays. I forget things of the heart. I have great friends and when I don't get to spend time with them I forget how truly great they are. I don't remember how much fun we have and the side splitting laughter. When I'm not in a close community I forget just how amazing community truly is.
Even with people I love, like my parents and even a girlfriend I realized that I forget these things. I forget how one wink from her can brighten my day. I forget what it is like to hold her hand, to touch here face, to kiss here. I don't remember the sound of her voice, although I know it, I forget her smell. I forget her and how she makes me feel.
All these things were ok until I had my Heart rendering, demolishing realization. I forget Christ. My Savor. My Lord. My One True Love. I forget Christ! I forget his presence, his voice, his love, his teachings. I forget what it is like to be with him and feel completely welcomed and completely unworthy. I forget the knee bending love we find in his presence. I forget the depths of the riches of knowing Him. I forget the power I receive through him. I forget to become like him. I forget just how much I need him. And that tore me apart, and scarred me that I'm so weak that I could forget my Jesus.