Back again

Here I sit in the restaurant of the hotel that I have spent many a meal in over the last few years. Its funny to be back here in Czech after just spending a few months back in the States. Heraclitus said "You can never step into the same river; for new waters are always flowing on to you."
Every time I come here it is different. There is a new challenge or new thought that God is showing me. The first time I was struggling with a bad break up. The second time I was dealing with the idea of being a missionary and following God. Trip number three I was learning how to let go and trust God for a home, for family, for friends. This time...I'm not sure but I can tell you that I'm dealing with questions of timing and whats next and think legitimately for the first time about serving in another country outside of Czech.
I'm living in the tension of not knowing the future but trusting a God who has a plan.
Pray that I pursue God and that in that pursuit it flows down into my team then into or camp teams then into our students.

I'm living and dying with the choices I've made.

The Road Not Taken
by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

This is my favorite poem. I revisit over and over each time taking something new from it. The very first time I read it I'll admit to making a common mistake and seeing it as inspiration to take the less traveled road. When I was fresh out of High School I read it and realized Frost was saying that it doesn't really matter what road you take its all in the journey because there is always the question of where the other road would lead. And now I read it and see something completely different.
I see choice. this is one of the most amazing things about America, about freedom in general, Choice. Whether it is McDonald's or Bugger King, Organic or Processed, Name brand or Generic we are bombarded with choices. Some good, some bad; some easy, some hard but we all must make them. I've come to realize that I'm not good at this. I want too much and when I make a decision I regret it...sometimes. Other times I'm ok until something new and better comes along. Usually this doesn't matter for instance what does it matter if I choose Cocoa Pebbles over Fruity Pebbles for breakfast(That's right I'm all about the good things)or what kind of creamer I get for my coffee. The answer Nothing, shocking I know. Yet sometimes especially in the gloriously transitional part of my life I find myself having to make huge choices. To mission or to youth pastor, which churches, which areas, do I give the homeless man money or turn my head, do I give my tithe or hoard my money or spend it on stupid things, if i donate it where to what cause?
I'm starting to understand that sometimes the choices we make reflect the person we are, choice is ultimately about freedom and freedom is ultimately about character. So what do my choices say about me?

the haze of inactivity

I've been meaning to write. No, really I have. Everyday I come here looking for a new post only to see that the guy who is supposed to be posting here isn't doing his job. What a jerk! oh wait...this is my blog...dang it. That explains so much. Well I best get writing. Now where to start....if I could only organize the storm of thoughts in my head. That's what happens to me. That's why I haven't written in so long. There isn't a lot going on. There are definitely things of note I'd be happy to share but all my good thoughts seem to be covered with this haze. I can see them I know where they are and that they're there but I can't focus in on them. I think when you are inactive its the discipline in the simple things that you miss the most.

So its offical

This morning I received a phone call from Europe, more specifically Cesky Tesin, Czech Republic. The phone call was of absolute incoherent quality, I understood just a few sentences. What I did understand was that after a little deliberation and a apparently an arm wrestling match I have been officially accepted as a missionary with Josiah Venture. Now I begin the long process of raising support and all the other joys that comes with that. Now if I only knew where to begin...

Rejoice with Humanity

This past week I've had the pleasure of working at the radio-thon for Driscoll Children's Hospital. It was a great experience.
At times it was hard to hear stories and to meet the kids who lives have been impacted by children. 5 yr olds with Leukemia and babies rushed into the operating room and into ICU within minutes of birth, children who will never walk...run...play outside...hear their Mother's say I love you these things made me question every single thing I know about goodness and truth and love. The idea of innocents and God.

The answers where dark...hopeless...depressing...destroying...

but then there was light...there is always light. That seems to be how He works. Against the back drop of death and sickness and suffering there is joy, happiness, redemption. There is cancer remission and eradication. Children who statistically should never have normal function... walking, talking, writing and drawing. There was this boy, the first thing he heard was his Mother...she said I love you. He asked if that was music...we was a teenager.

Then what probably is the coolest thing happened. People cared. People gave. People who had nothing to with these children gave their money, their time, their love. They were moved. They didn't just feel compassion. They weren't just touched...they acted.It was amazing. It made me proud to be part of this race. I'm beginning to understand what it means to be Human, to be a Christian, to be an Image Bearer...it means to care, to move, to act.

http://www.driscollchildrens.org/Default.htm

I'm a nerd.

As I was surfing the net I found this article. It got me thinking, wait I totally fit into this category...Why am I still single? I think more ladies should listen to this one.
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/66795671.html

another milestone of ignorance

I have long asked myself How do you deal with Death? As someone who is trained for ministry and looking at becoming a pastor this has been a subject I've thought about a lot but I've never really had to face it. I've had people who I've known die but never some one close to me. Never someone like this. I know that in the death of Christ the sting of death is removed but that doesn't solve the pain that comes with death. Especially when it comes to those that aren't submitted to the Death of Christ. What do you say as you race down the road knowing that death awaits the destination. What do you say when the only sounds you hear are those accompanied by tears. How do you speak Christ into that situation when you can't speak yourself. And how do you comfort those when you aren't certain that the relief of Heaven awaits.
My Grandfather died today. I have the great honor of doing the service...little did I know that my first funeral would be my grandfather's...and that I'd be 24.